Where We End Up
by princessrainbowflower
Summary: Three times River Song see's her husband's wedding rings, and one time she doesn't. River's POV (most of the time anyway).
1. The First Time

**So I wrote this at 3am while babysitting, so it might not make any sense. Timey-Whimey distortions, so the first part takes place at the end of The Big Bang. I own nothing. Woot woot.**

Something was wrong.

Jumping out of my bed at Storm Cage, I took in my surroundings. I was in the same place I'd been for years. Not that I'd ever really been confined. But something was different about today; something was gone. Suddenly really anxious, I reached my diary from where it sat next to my prison bed, but instead of grabbing it, I missed and it hit the floor. It was empty.

But the fact that it was empty wasn't what surprised me… It was the fact that I was actually surprised at seeing the empty diary that surprised me. It was unused, but I knew that, I had never opened it in my life. A diary that is never opened will always be empty, so why was seeing my blank diary so… unexpected to me?

I knelt down next to the diary, examining it carefully, fingering the pages, the utterly old, used pages… If it had never been written in, why did it look like every page had been used, worn, written and rewritten in over and over again? The diary looked used, abused, loved, toted… but never once have I even glanced at it. Why had I never thought about it until now? Something was very, very wrong.

And something was missing.

But there! In the bottom corner of the back of a page: coordinates.

* * *

One zap from the vortex manipulator that I kept under my mattress, and I landed, diary in hand at… a wedding venue? I looked down, I was dressed for the occasion amazingly. As if I had known this was going to happen. A man met me at the front door, and I handed him the diary to give to the bride. It was just what I needed to do. And then he was there. That man, that impossible man. And I remembered, because how could I ever forget?

He would come and take me out on dates, and we would flirt without caring who was around, and then we would steal kisses while no one was watching. We never had a normal relationship, no, there was no hope for that with the two of us being time travelers. But I took what I could get when I could get it. There were days when she would strut into the TARDIS and he would sweep his eyes over her body and scoop her up in his arms afterwards. Those were the good days, the ones where we knew who the other was without even saying it. We could just tell by the age in each other's eyes and the need etched on our faces.

And then there were the bad days, the ones when I had to be cautious with how much I told him, or when I had to pretend to not know something that I've already lived through.

Do you have that friend or boyfriend or husband, to whom you can tell your deepest darkest secrets, and they just understand you because that's who they were? That was my Doctor to me. I trusted him with everything, with my life, with my love, with my soul… but most of the time, I just couldn't tell him a thing. And if you don't have that, then what do you have? It was those days that really killed me.

"Did you dance?" I asked from my spot hidden in the garden, "well, you always dance at weddings, don't you?"

"You tell me," he replied.

"Spoilers," I said sadly. Oh how I hated that word.

* * *

One zap of my vortex manipulator, and I was back home… If you could call prison home. But I guess I had nowhere else to go.

"Hi honey, I'm home" came a voice from the corner of my cell. And there he stood, the same man I had been with mere seconds ago, but this version of him was far older and understanding.

"And what sort of time do you call this?" I replied as I normally do. "You know, you erased yourself from history today," I said solemnly, not knowing what I was hoping to accomplish by telling him this. I just stood there staring at him until he came to meet me with open arms. He swept me into a warm hug that lasted minutes but felt like days and ended far too soon. "Never. NEVER. Do that to me again. Do you understand?"

"I know dear, I'm sorry, I'm really so sorry. It was the only way to fix the universe. That's what happened, right? You're not talking about some other time that I erased myself?"

I looked into his eyes, and the expression on my face must have been terrifying, full of fear that he would erase himself again, because he stopped kidding and pulled me back into another hug.

"River, darling, have we done Utah yet?"

"Twice" I replied, looking down at my hands as the fixed the lapels on his tweed jacket.

He sat down on my prison cot and took my hands in his. He placed them over both of his hearts and I could feel his life in my hands. My life, technically, seeing as I had given him my regenerations. We were so intertwined, our lives, our timelines, our histories… Neither of us would have been here had it not been for the other. He kept saying that time could be rewritten, but our times could never be.

"I'm sorry, River, that it has to be this hard. I know what you're going through, when I meet younger versions of you, I don't know what to do. I want to greet you like a husband greets his wife, but that can never be that easy for us."

I looked into his eyes, they were truthful, full of passion and regret. Regret that our lives were intertwined as they were, that it would never be a simple love story between us. But at the same time, neither of us would have it any other way.

"It won't be easy for us, and you know that," he continued, releasing my hands and breaking his gaze to reach in his jacket pocket, "but I want you to know that just because things aren't easy, doesn't mean that they aren't good," he pulled his hand out of his jacket pocket, and held something out to me. When he looked up to meet my gaze again, I looked down to see two silver bands in his hand. I felt the breath get caught in my throat, wrapped up in the moment. That very day, he had asked me if I was married, and now here he was, in my jail cell, essentially telling me as he slipped a ring onto my left hand, and held out the other for me to put on his own finger, that what had happened in the aborted timeline had meant something to him… That even though it was a combat zone and it was rushed and I had embarrassed him with my emotions; I was still something that he could not and would not live without. As he placed the ring on my finger, my doubts had melted away. Sure we had flirted since that day, and spent many nights on adventures and dates, but I was never truly certain about our marriage, as it was in an aborted timeline and we had never spoken of it. The flirting is fun, but when it comes to real, true, lasting emotion, we tend to run in the opposite direction.

But as he held out the sturdy, medium thick, silver band to me… As he looked down at my hand and would not meet my eyes… I knew right then how much I meant to him. He was so embarrassed, so shy in front of me… to be this vulnerable; not knowing if I would take the ring into my own hands.

I stared at it upon my finger, holding it up to the faint Storm Cage light. That is when I saw the small circles etched on the band. I ran my thumb across the small Gallifreyan word and I knew that he must have made them himself. No one but the two of us really understood the ancient language, and there's nowhere in this universe that he could have bought them.

I'd given some thought to what kind of ring I would want for my wedding, but I had never expected something so heartfelt and meaningful as the ring that I held up to the faint blue tinted light of my cell.

"Melody…" he said quietly, and when I looked away from the ring to see him watching me, he got embarrassed and almost choked on his own tongue, "ah, um, River…" he looked down and ran his hand through his hair nervously before meeting my eyes, "If you, uh… I don't know if you…" He really looked adorable when he was embarrassed.

"Oh, shut up," I said before pulling him closer. He smirked and closed his eyes before closing the gap between us, finally relaxing under my touch.

"You know, darling…" I whispered to him, my hands running down his arms until our fingers were intertwined, "you _know_ how much I love you. Always and forever."

"We're connected now River. No matter how long I'm gone, no matter what versions of me you encounter, you will always know where we end up."

**Yeah, I don't know how to end it. Wrote it at 3 AM, hope it makes sense. If not, then too bad. You should review it so that I know people actually read it.**

**~live long and prosper**


	2. The Second Time

**Well, it **_**was**_** a one shot, but now it's not. It is now a more-than-one-shot! Because I have ideas! Don't you just love ideas? This is for you, Doctor/River fans!**

The next time I saw the Doctor's wedding band, I was being let out of prison.

It was my first day out, tasting the fresh air, feeling the sun on my face… the real sun, not through the rain soaked prison bars. And even when I broke out, I would feel the sun but there was always that looming knowledge that I would always have to return to Storm Cage.

But here I was, walking out of prison with no one chasing me and no alarms blaring… It was a really good feeling actually. I had made the most of my prison experience… breaking out as often as I could… I was already stuck there for life, so what else could they do to me? I never thought that this day could come. And as I stretched, enjoying not being enclosed, I realized that this day could not get any better.

Except of course, if my husband were here.

Looking around expectantly, I looked for him. I'd sent him a note, ya know… marked it with an "x"…

Alas, he never _did_ have the best timing…

* * *

The ferry dropped me off at the port, and I walked in wearing my only clean, non-prison, outfits, and carrying my only suitcase. They didn't let me have too many personal items at storm cage. I had really hoped that my Doctor would be here; I hadn't really had a backup plan. Mom and dad were with him I expected, leaving me with no one to pick me up from prison. Usually Amy would be the one who would pay my bail… At least when I was Mels she would. Now I had to bust myself out. But I'd never actually been freed without anyone to pick me up, and frankly, I didn't know what to do now.

I exhaled, sighing into the lukewarm air. It was humid out, and God knows that does nothing for my hair except make it an absolute terror.

The port looked like one of those 21st century airports, but much less crowded. Storm Cage wasn't much of a vacation spot after all. The people who _were_ at the port were making me very uncomfortable with their stares, luckily for me all I had to do was open up my suitcase and strap on my vortex manipulator.

No idea where to. Was there a random button on here?

* * *

He watched her get off the ferry from his hiding place. His face hidden under the brim of his hat. It was just one burden lifted off his shoulders to watch her walk free. Finally she was not kept behind bars for a murder that she did not commit, for killing a man who does not technically exist.

He knew that she would wear freedom well. She had invited him to her release, clearly hoping he would show up for once. He was lousy at keeping deadlines. She had signed the note with a kiss, and he wanted so much to kiss her like he had the last time. Hot and passionate but slow and meaningful. She had so much spark, so much life inside of her, and she was young, oh so young. And she loved him, and he had no idea why. But now, it was better that she didn't know he was alive. He had to hide from her, and it hurt him oh so much.

And it hurt him even more as she strapped the vortex manipulator to her wrist… he knew that she was hoping he would whisk her away. He also knew that she had nowhere to go. And for a moment he wondered what it would be like if they had a proper marriage.

She would come off the ferry to his open arms and he would spin her around and kiss her playfully. He would take her by the hand and never let go… His River Song. And their fingers would be entwined and they would dash off to their house. A proper house, with a parking spot for the TARDIS. They would sleep in the same bed, with her tucked under his arm, and maybe a small cot in the corner. And if they ever had a use for the cot, he would be the one to get up in the middle of the night to care for their child.

When he watched her sigh he looked up a little higher under the brim of his hat and took a step towards her, ready to greet her with flirty banter, but then he remembered that she mustn't know that he was there.

He thought about what he would have said to her had he been able to speak to her.

_I am so very proud of you_

He found himself whispering it under his breath. She was looking down at her vortex manipulator. Clearly pondering where she would go. She plugged in some coordinates and placed her free hand over it, ready to hit the button that will scatter her atoms, allowing her to reappear elsewhere.

He was watching her, but all he could think about was the cot in the corner of their bedroom. "River…" he said under his breath, and before he knew what he was doing it, he was yelling it towards his wife. He started to move towards her, slowly at first, but then he was running, one hand out stretched, "River!" And for a millisecond, she looked up, faintly registering her name. Her eyes met his, and he saw her raw emotion, she was completely unguarded, not bothering to hide from him. But her hand was already moving in a downward motion over the button and then she was gone.

**It's not over yet, don't fret. Reviewing would increase the speed of chapter updates, if ya know what I mean ;)**

**Live long and prosper**


	3. Stuck on an Island

**I still own nothing. River Song P.O.V. in your face, ispksarcasm, I fixed the vortex manipulator problem.**

I overshot the coordinates. My first indication was when I went underwater.

"NO!" I yelled, bubbles of water escaping from my mouth. I was trying desperately to keep the vortex manipulator above the waves that were pulling me under, but it was useless as I felt my fingertips sink below water level. Giving up on that, I swam up, kicking and moving my arms towards the surface, praying that I was at least close to shore. Gasping for air, I looked around, _Thank God_, there was land just about a mile away, unfortunately, that would mean I would have to sacrifice my shoes and the rest of my belongings.

"Oh no…" I opened my suitcase, trying to keep it and myself above water, but the dress I was wearing was making it difficult. "ugh!" I moaned, balancing the suitcase on my knee so it was mostly out of the water. It would be much easier if the ocean floor was anywhere near my feet… of course not.

I unlocked the bag and struggled to find it… the little blue diary hidden in my other clothing. As soon as my hands wrapped around it, I pulled it out, holding it high above the ocean's salty waves and dropped my knee. I watched as the rest of my belongings sunk to the ocean floor. I sighed again. This was supposed to be one of the greatest days of my life… and now I can't even get back to the Doctor. _Why did he wait so long to show himself?_ I thought to myself as I put the book in my mouth and reached down into the water to rip the hem of my dress, hopefully making it easier to swim.

The water wasn't too cold, I had planned to be on this island on earth that I liked to go once and a while. Not too many people knew about it, but I must have messed up the coordinates a bit. By the time I reached shore, it was getting dark and I was exhausted from all the swimming. I walked slowly up the shore, turning to face the waves and watching the sun set over the horizon.

"Here's to my first day of freedom," I toasted by myself on a secluded beach, sitting in the sand, soaking wet, vortex manipulator broken, barefoot, ripped dress… Just me and my little blue book.

* * *

"Doctor, please come get me, River xox" That's what his psychic paper read for the second time today, followed by coordinates, different ones this time. He vaguely wondered where River would go when she had nowhere else to go. Earth, obviously, judging by the coordinates he was now plugging into the TARDIS console.

Throwing the red lever, he was off… him and his blue box. Off through time and space to find his wife. When he landed, he threw the TARDIS doors open, revealing a white beach, empty save one body sitting in the sand. The ocean breeze pushed him slightly into his box, messing up his hair, and plastering a smile on his face. He stripped off his shoes and socks and took off his tweed jacket, throwing it over his shoulder as he walked out of his TARDIS and down the beach.

* * *

I heard the TARDIS breaks but didn't turn around to watch him approach. It was only when he walked up to her that she smiled at the sight of his bare feet.

"Hello, Sweetie" I looked up at his face. He looked kind of embarrassed.

"River… I wasn't going to come before, but I couldn't keep myself away from you…"

"You've never been able to before."

"River…" he growled… aggravated that I cut him off, "I shouldn't be here now, and I'm trying to lay low…"

"Oh, help me up you sentimental idiot." I cut him off again, but he took it as a fresh start. He didn't need to explain himself further; it was just another one of his 'the universe would be better off without me' ploys, and he already knew my take on those.

He held out his hands to me, and my fingers closed around his, feeling the ring on his left hand as he pulled me up to meet him. It was the second time I had seen his wearing his ring. It was always nice when I bumped into _my_ Doctor… with the rings on, we could skip the diaries for once and get straight to the fun stuff. Clearly he was thinking the same thing as he held m ring in two fingers and turned it around on my finger. "you look amazing," he said, and I could only laugh.

"Doctor, I just swam a mile to shore, ripped my dress, my hair is soaking wet and now I'm covered in sand. Surely I've looked better." I said to him.

"Yes, usually you look stunning, breathtaking, beautiful, which ever adjective you prefer, but now… right now, you look simply… yowzah… and a tad sexy if I do say so myself," he said, watching me, clearly satisfied with the situation at hand.

"Yowzah, sweetie?" I said, mocking his choice of words. But he just did that smug smile thing as he met my eyes again and said "Yowzah" again, this time in a lower, gruffer voice.

He touched my lower back and stepped closer to me, using his other hand to brush the salty pieces of hair that were matted to my cheeks from the wind off of my face and pulled me in for a kiss. We kissed and kissed and somehow ended up laying on the sand again. I pulled away from him, "sweetie?" I said between quick kisses, "can you" kiss "fix my uh…" kiss "vortex…" he kissed me again, longer this time and less rushed… what was I trying to say… "vortex manipulator?"

He glared at me, before reaching into his jacket pocket, which was lying off in the sand next to him. He broke eye contact with me and the warm feeling inside me that I had been overlooking was stripped from my core. Only when he touched my wrist in order to sonic my vortex manipulator did I feel the slow progression of heat penetrate through my being, moving up my arm from where his fingertips touched my skin.

I found myself staring at his ring. It was silver, like mine, but in the light of the setting sun, I could see that his word was different. My Gallifreyan wasn't the best, and seeing as it was hand written, and the language was dead, it took me a little longer to translate, but it looked like… it said my name. it was that simple, just _River Song_.

I found it interesting that he hadn't chosen to write my birth name, but I guess Melody Pond wasn't the one he fell in love with.

So if _my_ name was on _his_ ring, then that must mean the word on mine was _his_ name… which explains why I was never able to pronounce it. I rolled over to my stomach, facing him, and he looked up at me under his floppy fringe, still tinkering with my wrist in his hands.

"Say it for me?" I said after a few moments of silence.

"Hm?"

In response, I held my wrist higher, waving my fingers in front of him, "say it for me," I repeated.

He smiled at me, "I was wondering when you'd ask, come here."

I sat up and he wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned back into his chest. The Doctor pushed my hair behind my ear from behind me and brought his face close. My heart started beating quicker as he brought his lips close and whispered his name slowly, as if savoring each syllable. I was in awe at its beauty. It was like nothing I had ever heard before. He kissed me on the cheek, relaxing a bit more, and pulling me closer into his embrace. I suspect that it had been the first time in a long time that he'd said it. I repeated him, and he laughed at my attempt. We spent the rest of the night saying his name over and over again until I had it down pat.

Then when it got too cold, and his jacket was thrown over my shoulders, he held out his hand and helped me up off of the cold sand and into the TARDIS.

That was the second time I saw the Doctor's wedding ring. It was so wonderful. He was branded with my name, and I with his. But I would only see his band once more, and although it would be one of the happiest days of my life, it would be bitter sweet for him. For My Doctor. The last time we would ever see each other.

**Yep, you've guessed it. Towers of Delirium coming up. I'll try not to cry while writing it.**

**Follow or favorite my story if you like it. I don't really care about the reviews and rates, I just like that people might come back to my story to read it over again.**

**~live long and prosper**


	4. The Last Time

The third time I saw my husband's wedding ring, was easily the best night of my life.

When a girl gets taken out on the town by their husband on a whim, one can imagine the excitement. So imagine my ecstasy when the Doctor, _my_ true, proper Doctor, shows up at my door step in his formal coat tails and another ridiculous hat and tells me that we're going off to the planet that I have dreamed about. Literally dreamed about it. At night in my sleep, I would hear them singing… the towers. I have read about them and for years and years I had wished that there would come an occasion in which I would have someone special to take me. Actually, I've made the trip before alone, but the towers have never sung for me. But the Doctor… he told me that he would take me and he _promised_ me they would sing.

He had bragged about it, the Doctor… He said when the towers sang, the stars glistened with the rhythm and everything moved in sync. Of course, then he explained the pure physics of this miracle, but nonetheless, nothing was going to take away from this night.

The night that he finally took me to hear them sing.

* * *

There was a reason River never saw the towers sing. She didn't know the secret… and she called herself an _archeologist_. He scoffed, shaking his head. She could study her books and use her vortex manipulator, but this was one secret that she would have to get from him and him alone.

And tonight he would take her. She had been jokingly asking him for weeks, or maybe months… She said it jokingly, like if he asked her for a favor, she would reply with 'only if you take me to see the towers sing'. He would laugh at her and send her on her way with a kiss, but he knew she was dying to go. But he also knew that it was worth waiting for, and that she would be patient.

He also wasn't in too much of a rush to take her there. He always tried to stick a few more flirty adventures in before her asking got too much like pleading.

He sighed. This was not something he could run from.

* * *

They sat alone on a blanket kissing and holding each other. It was twilight and the stars began to appear in the not-yet-black sky. They had parked the TARDIS on a hill just beyond the bustling crowds hoping that this would be the trip on which the towers sang. River Song was usually more intense and flirty with him, but tonight, her attention was divided. She was in for a surprise, and she didn't even see it coming.

And to him, that was the best part.

* * *

He wiped the tears from his eyes, I pretended not to see. He didn't want me to see. At least not yet. "Come on then, I've had enough of this…"

"What?" He stood up and held out his hand to me, but hell if _I _was going _anywhere_ until the towers sang, "Doctor this is my _dream_… I was rendered speechless that you didn't have some grand speech about humanity and the beauty of the universe, instead, here you are, telling me that you're… _tired_?! Are you KIDDING ME?! The towers haven't even started _singing_!" I was on the verge of tears, I couldn't believe he was teasing me with my dreams, making a fool of me here, making a mess of my emotions that I already tried so hard to keep under wraps. He was… he was just so… _infuriating_!

"NO, no no no no no, River, you've got it all wrong! I'm not tired, I've just had enough of this view…"

"Doctor! You promised me they would _sing,_" I was beginning to become annoyed with him when he cut me off.

"Don't you trust me, River?"

I took an intake of breath as he searched my eyes. There was something he was hiding from me… Something he wanted to tell me. I could see it in his eyes. I didn't reply for a moment, he was holding me there and wouldn't look away from my face.

"With my life."

He smiled, breaking the serious face he had on. "Well come on, then!" The Doctor grabbed my hand and started running, but not towards the TARDIS like we were going home, but instead, we ran down the big hill and through the crowds.

"What most people don't know," he yelled back at me as we ran, "is that the towers don't sing unless it's got something worth singing for," we stopped and he touched my cheek with the back of his hand. Time stood still for that moment. I had the greatest feeling that we were connected. It was as if there was something drawing us together and keeping us there, at that moment in time and space.

We ran all the way down through the tall grasses, passing the trees and fireflies as we went, my heels sinking into the ground. I stopped for a moment to take them off, running barefoot the rest of the way. It was kind of magical, the whole thing… Like it was part of a movie or something. But the Towers still weren't singing.

Finally after running all the way to the towers, we stopped in front of the ginormous white pillars. They were made of some sort of marble, with swirls of dark grey and blue in them. The Doctor watched and beamed at me as I circled it… I had never seen them up close. I doubt anyone had. "Will they sing?" I asked him, finally tearing my eyes away from the mystical beams.

"look," he said, leaning against a tower. As his body hit the side, a streak of blue light ran up the tower from where he touched it. I gasped in awe, but watched as the tower faded. A single note was heard from the very top, resonating through the hills, and I could hear the spectators gasping at the previously silent wonder.

He was smirking at me, and held out a hand to me, which I took. He pulled me up to him and held me in a tight embrace, saying quietly, but not really in a whisper, "don't you see, River?" he paused, "We have to make our own melody… The towers… they sing for _us._"

And suddenly I understood. All of those times I had read about the towers singing… that was really me and my Doctor… making our mark on history as a couple… The idea was really breathtaking.

"trust me," he said, taking my hands in his, and standing behind me at the tower. His right hand covered my right hand, and his left covered my left. We placed our palms on the marble, feeling its cold, smooth surface, and watching the wonderful blue light streak up to the sky, lighting up our faces. I giggled with ecstasy at the feeling of my husband's arms around me, the two of us standing here, witnessing a miracle.

We started to slide our hands all over the towers, running between them and making wonderful sounds, harmonizing perfectly. Up on the hill, people were dancing, and down at the towers, so were the Doctor and I. Different towers had different colors and different pitches and sounds. It was the most amazing gift I had ever asked for, and I didn't even realize when our duet became a solo. My Doctor had stopped playing the towers, and was standing there watching me with tears in his eyes. But the tears were not entirely of joy of the moment, even though he said that they were.

"I just realized I never properly proposed to you," he said, as the tears fell over the brims of his eyes, no longer able to hold them back. I watched him get down onto one knee and hold out a box to me, but a long one, not a suitable box for a ring.

"River Song… Melody Pond, please, I don't know why you would ever love me, after I stole your childhood, stole you from your parents, had you kill me, got you locked up in prison, abandon you for weeks at a time…" I wanted to cut him off, tell him that none of that mattered any more, but he kept talking, and I wanted to hear him through, "and I know I don't say it a lot… and sometimes I can't say it, because you're too young to know… but I love you. God, do I love you. To the ends of the universe and back… and we've been." Now I was crying, as he took my hand; the left one, with my ring, and kissed it. "I love you." He repeated it over and over again, looking into my eyes, and getting off his knee to kiss my lips.

"As I love you, sweetie," I said in reply, "I was made for you, everything we do; our lives… they can never be rewritten," and he choked back a sob before opening the box.

"I want you to take this, River, my wife," and he handed my own sonic screwdriver. I took it from him, and threw myself at him, banging into the towers, leaving a lasting, final note on a green beam. I don't even know how to begin to explain the emotions that were coursing through my body at that very moment… But sorrow was not one of them, but I could tell that for the Doctor… It was.

And that was the last time I would ever see the Doctor's wedding ring.

**I'm not done yet. Two more, shorter chapters left. I should have gone to bed hours ago, I have a quidditch tournament in the morning… Oh well, this was worth it. I think. Didn't want to keep you waiting any longer.**

**Live long and prosper**


	5. The Library

The alarm was blaring this morning at five AM, and even though It was so early and I'd only had two hours of sleep in anticipation of this day, I jumped out of bed as if I had just slept a full ten hours. I threw the covers off and hopped in the shower. Today was one of my more expensive and awaited archeological digs. I have three digs planned for this week. The first one at the Library, which was today, and then two others on earth. I was definitely more excited for this dig though.

I had to put my name down on list after list, I made petitions, and signed forms. It was such a hassle, but a planet filled with _books_! How could a girl resist?

The hot water felt nice, and almost put me back to sleep, but I couldn't be late. I was a bit of a mess, if I do say so myself, running around the room, doing some last minute packing, tripping over bags and dirty clothing littering the floor of the master bedroom. I got bored of running around the king sized mattress every time I forgot to pack something, so I started climbing over it and crawling across to get to the other side. Frankly, I had too much energy this morning. And I probably should have packed more ahead of time. My green dress was hanging over the back of the chair in the corner of the room along with my muddy shoes and my brand new sonic.

I slowed down a bit, touching the dress with my fingertips, remembering the previous night and where the Doctor had caressed me. We had our own little melody now, and I hummed it as I picked up the sonic and held the cool metal in my hand. There were bumps and grooves and It was so… _me_. It was as if my personality was a part of the screw driver. I wondered how much thought had gone into this… How long he had been planning to give it to me. Closing my fingers around it, I put it safely away on my utility belt. I would have to remember to put it in the pocket of my space suit when I prepped at the station… I shivered at the thought of being in a space suit… again…

I swear, just the idea of wearing that thing made me reconsider going today… _Maybe… if just for my own sanity… maybe I should stay home._

After all… _Nothing good ever happens in space suits._

_No. I've waited too long for this trip, and I've put too much effort into planning this, I can't let a little inconvenience stop me from going. _Anyway, something in the back of my mind was telling me that this was part of the job description.

* * *

At 7 that morning, two hours after I had been lying in bed, I am standing at the door to my bedroom, two bags in hand, screwdriver attached to my belt, running through the list of things in my head and checking off everything. I shutting off my light and closing my door, the house is eerily quiet. The ghosts of our past walked the corridors, and It was almost as if I could hear us now… the Doctor and me… flirting away in the kitchen… kissing all the way up the stairs, trying not to fall down them… exchanging Christmas gifts in front of the fire place that one Christmas we spent here and not off fighting aliens… All of these memories are flooding to my head. Maybe because the house looks unlived in now that it's all clean.

It's a big house for just me and the occasional visit from my Doctor. When I came back, I would talk to him about this big lonely house, I decided.

* * *

With a loud noise and the bright flash of the vortex manipulator, River Song was gone. The house was empty, and too clean. Far too clean for it to be lived in. Nothing out of place…

Except one… a ring… there.

Left, lonely, laying on the bedside table. The right half of the bed. The left side was his.

A ring that said a name; the name of her lover and husband. A name that only the two of them knew. A ring that meant intimacy and commitment, despite the terms of their relationship and meeting out of order.

She didn't mean to leave it behind, certainly not; she had worn it everywhere. She just simply forgot.

And as she was sitting in a chair, twisting wires together and humming their melody, the melody they made at the towers, with shaky breaths, she pictured him there with her, and willed him to be there.

And he saw her and he felt her life force inside of him, as he sat at the edge of her bed in her empty house, caressing a ring with his name on it in his hands. Feeling the silent pressure of loneliness twisting up inside of him.

Later he would feel the heat of his sonic paper. But right now, he was too numb to feel anything but sorrow.

Later he would read it… her last words to him.

And he would know she was gone.


	6. Inevitable

He was absolutely not allowed anywhere near the Library. Not now.

Not ever.

Even if had wanted to… maybe… in the future of course…

No.

He already had his goodbye. It was the perfect night… Or it would have been if he hadn't known that come morning, she would live her last day in this universe. Once you know something that grave, you can't simply move past it.

He couldn't be there with her in the end. He had done everything he could to make sure she knew that he loved her without telling her what was looming in her near future. After the Library was evacuated, the Vashta Nerada would reclaim their territory. He could _never_ go back. And he would miss those nights with her; with the proper her. Sure, she wasn't gone for good, but from now on, she would only be getting younger… not understanding more and more of their inside jokes. He would hear the word _spoilers_ and he would ache.

River Song would ask him why he wears a ring, and he would say that once, he was married. And that he wears it as to remember her by. And she would become quiet for a moment, embarrassed and jealous of his former wife. Not knowing that those experiences were yet to come. That _she_ would be the one the Doctor ached for.

It killed him… thinking about it.

It was the time that the Doctor _wasn't_ the hero. _Couldn't_ _be_ the hero.

Then again, River Song never really needed a hero, now did she?

It didn't end happy for them. They couldn't stay together in the Library data core. He couldn't bring her back, and they would never settle down and have a normal life.

They would never have a master bedroom where she slept tucked under his arm, and they would never have a cot in the corner for… He couldn't really bring himself to think much more. The Doctor was tired. But he couldn't stop running. He never has before. And she wouldn't want that. His River Song.

They would never have their happy ending.

But it's not the end that matters, but the journey getting there.

And oh, what a journey they had.


	7. Where We End Up

_As a wise man once told me, _

"_Just because it isn't easy, doesn't mean it isn't good"_

_And Sweetie, it was so good._

_All my love, now and forever yours._

_Xoxo_


	8. AN thank you

**Well that's all I have to write. I'm quite fond of this fic and I worked very hard on it, so I appreciate every review, follow and favorite that came from it. It means so much to me that my words can make someone cry, and laugh and maybe make their stomachs flip.**

**I'm done writing Doctor Who for now, and I don't know how long it will take for me to write again, but this is the most time and effort I've put into writing in a long time. Thank you everyone for listening to my incessant begging to read my story, and I shall leave you with a "live long and prosper" feel free to revisit me here! **


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